On Getting Older and Being Lost

It is your birthday month. You will be one of those ages where the number itself is essentially irrelevant. Old enough to have been around the block and had the opportunity to have done some things, yet young enough that still considered young in the working world. Birthdays (and for that matter New Year's) are always great time for reflection on the past year and how far one has gone and all the things they have done. It can be a pleasing, reassuring and celebratory time. And it also puts in plainview the truth of your current reality. Which when faced with the stark truth is inherently depressing to those lost along the road of life. And people do strange things to cope with these aging crisis like shave off a trademark beard in an attempt to revert to those youthful baby-faced looks of days gone by. Or because they simply forgot what they looked like without it and realize that who you are is not who you were. For the better.

Lost. Great TV show, not a great thing to be. When you take a look in the mirror and be honest with yourself you see that you trudge everyday to an unnecessary job you don't particularly like where you are undercompensated, underchallenged, underwhelmed, underperform and are usually incredibly unmotivated. You want to move onto the next big challenge, a move you know you need to make. Yet you can't get up the motivation to even begin to look. And why? Because you don't even know where to begin. Because you lack the dreams and ideals and don't have any answer to that second grade question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

You are utterly lost. But not hopelessly lost. Because you hold out hope that some light bulb might pop on above your head or somehow your fortune will turn or you might stumble into something, or better yet have it pop up and smack you square in the face. But there is that dilemna of what do you with yourself while you sit there lost and not doing anything about it. You can sit around and stew about it and let the stark blankness of your reality overwhelm you. Or you can nerd out and read a book outside or go eat a bagel or attempt to dominate some bar trivia night or teach your niece some unspeakable thing that a 3 year old should not know or put on a ridiculous thrift store suit and go hit the town and indulge in the comedy of your own ridiculousness.

Because as another year begins to fade away you can dwell on how lost you are and your total lack of resolve in doing anything about it. Or you can get off your ass and enjoy something, anything that will you temporarily allow to shut off the noggin to the harshness for awhile and relish the awesomeness of the moment and know that what you have and can have is greater than you know. And know that someday you will find your way.

And until then you keep on keepin on.